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From time to time, adult members and our older teenagers give credos, their personal statement of what they believe or why they are members of the Unitarian Society of Germantown. We will be posting credos here. Reading them will tell you a lot about who we are.
I have been a member of the Unitarian Society of Germantown for the past 22+ years. I have been asked to tell you why I am a member and why I contribute time, skills, and money to this congregation.
Let me give you the short answer first: COMMUNITY. That’s right, this church—YOU—are my community. You nourish my soul, challenge my intellect, and hold me up when I am down. Let me tell you some stories about how this came to be.
Lesson #1 in community: people in this church reach out to one another in meaningful ways. When my family moved to Philly in the fall of 1986, we didn’t know a soul. I was starting a faculty position at Penn and my husband Rudy did not yet have a job. Our kids, ages four and six, were starting new schools. We decided to join a church to help us meet other people as we learned our way around. USG was a good fit. Our son Rob hooked up with a boy who went to his school. Our daughter Beth made a friend the first day in Sunday School. My husband liked the senior minister, Bill Gardener. I liked the Associate Minister, Marguerite Lovett. But it still felt pretty lonely most of the time.
I remember one Sunday there was a luncheon after church. I set next to Adelle Ebenbach, a well known and highly respected elder stateswoman of the church. I remember telling Adelle that I was glad we were joining the church because I felt the ministers could be a kind of lifeline in a time of need. Adelle said, “Andrea, if you need help, you can call me. I will be happy to help out however I can. And there are plenty of other people in this church who would also help you.” WOW! Those words have stayed with me all this time. It was my first glimpse of this community that I now claim as my own. There are many more powerful examples of how members of this community have reached out to me and my family, but those are stories for another day.
Lesson #2: what you give you always get back a hundred-fold. As many of you know, I have taught the 7th & 8th grade kids religious education for quite a few years now. The course used to be called “About Your Sexuality.” Now it’s called “OWL” which stands for “Our Whole Lives.” OWL isn’t nearly as cool of a name; it sounds too much like bird watching. Despite its name the course is wonderful. It is perfect for pre-teens and young teens who are just beginning to experience their adult sexuality and are intensely curious about it. It is not a course about “plumbing” as my husband would say. It is about exploring values such as “relationships” and “power.” It is about understanding and making choices. It is about the first UU principle that affirms the inherent worth and dignity of every human being. Teaching this course every other year since 1989, I have spent a whole year in deep conversation with all the young teens in this community. I have watched—no, I have helped them grow up! And these young people have a place in my heart for the rest of their lives. They have become enfolded in my community.
Lesson #3: When in doubt, hold onto the nearest hand. I think of the time when my kids were in high school as the “desperate years.” As my husband and I shared our stories with other parents of teens, we received nods of recognition from many parents. A small group of us formed the “POET” Society. No we were not writing verse; we were the Parents of Exasperating Teens, POET, aptly named. We parents convened regularly to laugh, cry, rant, and express our angst about the teenagers who ran our lives. We held each others’ hands, offered tentative advice (until we learned that this wasn’t about solutions!), and just held on to each other during the rough ride.
Lesson #4: Inclusiveness. Whenever I taught the Sexuality class, I reminded myself that approximately one out of ten kids will ultimately identify themselves as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or trans-gender. Little did I know that one of those kids would be my own child. By mid-high school, it was an emerging truth that our daughter was more interested in girls than in boys. It was reassuring to me that our church is a welcoming congregation. This means that we have embraced a culture of inclusiveness for folks of “different” sexuality. This is part of the “adult” community; but I didn’t know if my daughter was able to get the support she needed in the congregation. Later, I learned that the YRUU group, the youth group of this church, was a major support for our daughter as she struggled with how to come out to her parents and the world.
The stories and lessons could go on. But you get the picture. This church—YOU—have enfolded me into your arms; you have nourished me and encouraged me to nourish others. We have struggled together over the rough patches. And we have celebrated the inherent worth of every one of us. For these reasons and many more, I give my financial support to this congregation. I give as much as I can and I increase it as often as I can. And, it has been worth it.